31st Dec 2012

It is coming to the end of year 2012.
What's there to wish for everyone in 2013? I wish everyone gets a chance to try all types of loves out in this world :)

Irasshaimase, here I am a waiter

It has been such a long time since I last worked part time.

But doing a part time work has been something on my mind when I just stepped in to working era 4 years ago. Until 2 days ago I finally found myself one, and attended my first day of part time job as a waiter. There is a mixed feeling when I received the offer, and complicated emotions in me when I accepted the offer. The feelings are partly excited because I found the job within 2 days of finding; concerned because as a 28 years old with working experience of 4 years in export sales, I took a job that I have no experience at all and mostly done by either students who are waiting for exam results or older people who prefers working than staying at home; I was happy as the pay offered to me was what I requested and which is slightly higher hour pay than part time jobs I saw online; I was worried if at this stage of age and body condition, will I still be able to stay that strong like 6 or 7 years ago when I could attend a few part time works and requested more working hours from employer for the sake of earning more hour pay?; I was not convinced if what I am going to do will be worthwhile, as I am not doing this for myself, I am doing for someone I care so much but have cheated on me for 3 times. I was tired and I needed sleep but I hardly fell into deeper sleep, but I have no option but to believe it the fourth time, and if it fails, I believe I will have nothing left (be it physical strength nor mental strength) to move on. Ahead of me, there is biggest risk biggest challenge to be faced, so I have to rest…

为什么说谎

你说你还在 一分一秒也没走开
我想留在这里 可是这一切已太晚
我不能再像从前一样
为我们的明天疯狂
你不必解释 你为什么说谎

你不能说我没有爱过 说我没等过难过
我也想说 也许能重来我却还是沉默
你一直问我的心到底在不在
问我怎能不遗憾就丢失了爱
而我的泪 怎么就流下来

=================================================

这时候，解释已经没有意义，
流过的泪，这里没有人想挽回。

今天它死了

有些生命在某个时候就要结束。

它在32个月来临之前，死了。

Golden Shrimp

Golden Shrimp (with salted egg yolk)

Never thought woulf ever have chance to enjoy this dish at home
The best thing was I did not need to prepare it myself :)

Guess I just had a happy moment that belongs to only me
超満足だ！！

One Wanderer

It just won't be happy day in everyday,
should there be a need to stay cheerful everyday? give me a reason I have to do so...
I understood even accepted this is mine, this is a life I chose to live,
but wouldn't I have the right to feel disappointed and dissatisfied? and tired about it sometimes?

I want to give my bad times a break
They say, 'This is what life is about...'
I guess it means there should be good days and bad ones too.
I am facing them, although it is not easy at all, I was like an old lady with depression, sitting at the bench in a shopping mall, and started tearing, feeling miserable, feeling my life sucks so much that I want to put down everything that I just shopped and run to somewhere I see no happiness, everything is so cruel to show up at that moment...

I have been learning to be one wanderer, I was at the top floor on the building; I was at the middle of the road with busy traffic, when I was walking back home with smiles don't belong to me.

Life is long when you think it is long;
Life is short when you think it is as short.
I know how much I owe my real life once

I am one life wanderer

I don't want to lose any

When there is nothing to gain,

there is nothing to lose;